How to Handle Rejection
Rejection can be a terrible thing to feel. It’s the experience of being excluded, refused, or dismissed as inadequate. Basically, you end up with the feeling that you weren’t good enough. You weren’t good enough to get the job. You weren’t good enough to belong to the group. You weren’t good enough to be with that person. Everyone experiences rejection at some points in their lives. Since this is an inevitable part of life, let us share with you some powerful steps for overcoming rejection:
Be aware of different perspectives
Each version has a different perspective of reality. In any given situation, two people may think or react in the exact same manner. When these differences surface, conflicts arise and this is when one party can choose to severe ties and move on. Basically, when another person sees the world differently than you do, they will behave differently than you expect them to behave. Maybe they just have a different interpretation for what qualified for the job. In a different case, maybe your ex was just in a different stage in his or her life that doesn’t match yours. These rejections don’t necessarily speak about your worth and your competencies.
Think about different outcomes
One of the things that hurt about rejections is the fact that you’re disappointed. You may have been expecting a promotion, yet somebody else gets it. You may have been expecting a marriage proposal, but then he breaks up with you. These are painful partly because the future you envisioned will not be realized given these rejections.
What you can do is to force yourself to view the situation and consider different possible outcomes. While a breakup may be horrible right now, it can also be a chance for you to meet other people or do other things with your life. In life, it will help you if you’re open to uncertainty. Objectively imagine at least two possible reactions, one mandatorily less positive than the other. When you think about it and in some level are prepared to accept it, then you’ll be able to deal with rejections better.
Support these outcomes with rational explanations
Give reasons for each of the possible outcomes you are prepared to accept. Let’s say you’re going for a job opening. Don’t expect that you’ll get it, in the case that you’ll feel rejected if you don’t get it. But don’t expect you’ll be rejected either that you’ll lack confidence when it comes to the job interviews. Instead, tell yourself, “There are two possible outcomes to this job interview.” First, you could get hired. Why will you get hired? Come up with at least two to three reasons. Second, you might not get hired. Think about reasons as well. You can be overqualified. You may not be the right fit for the job because you need more experience. It might be because something better is meant for you.
Be objective in your analysis
When you’re objective in your analysis, you can achieve two goals. First, you can visualize both positive and negative outcomes for any situation. You’re already mentally preparing yourself for each outcome. Secondly, when you’re able to prepare for the negative outcome, you can minimise feelings of personalisation associated with the negative outcome. You’re also being honest by identifying one reason that involves an objective evaluation of your personal weakness.
Avoid personalisation of every outcome
Handling rejection successfully is about avoiding any feelings that are unwarranted and unnecessary. This is not about feeding yourself some distorted version of reality or simply by “thinking positive”. Instead, it’s about the awareness of how we interpret a situation as something that devalues us, when it’s not. It’s about the tendency to overpersonalise negative outcomes. At the end of the day, when situations of rejection occur, it’s just because what you’ve got to offer is not what someone needed, it’s not because what you have to offer isn’t good enough; it’s just different.