So you’re feeling judged. Like people are remarking on your work, lifestyle choices and general up-and-go attitude, and it irritates you. You feel like whatever you do is never good enough and you are frankly tired of trying to please others.
But have you considered that maybe this judgment you feel has less to do with the people around you, and more to do with the person in the mirror? Aka, you?
There’s no time to fluff about in this article.
We are going to deliver you some home truths that might initially feel like a jab, but we promise, they’re for your greater good.
We judge and feel judged because we are afraid
The people we judge and feel judged by show us a part of ourselves we don’t like or fear. In this way, every person you meet acts like a mirror for you. When you are happy, you will receive many smiles each day, but when you’re feeling off, you’ll probably see a lot of grumpy faces. If you are feeling judged for being a working mum, for daring to have a go at a new business idea or for speaking your mind, consider what this judgement says about how you are feeling about you. More than likely, you’ll discover you’re a little more scared than what you’re logical mind has let you in on.
It’s ok to be afraid
First of all: Dare to be aware of these judgments, which we can confidently say now, are your judgements. Even though you might not like admitting to yourself that you’re being judgmental, see this as a learning opportunity and embrace yourself for daring to be aware of your judgements.
Second: Wonder why you feel judged.
What does this judgement tell you about yourself?
What are you frightened of?
Third: Be thankful for this process. You are becoming aware of how you judge yourself and how you can change this.
Instead of feeling judged by others, work on your own sense of self-respect and learn to really love yourself. Recognise that people’s judgement is a reflection of their own fear and lack of confidence and the exact same principle applies to you. When you are happy with yourself and your life, there is no more need to judge others. Embrace yourself and love yourself.
Start to like yourself and become friends with who you are.
Maybe you have heard the old adage: “When you point a finger, there are three pointing back at you.” The same applies here. Be mindful of the judgments you cast, the judgment you feel and what this world of misplaced ego is actually saying about you and how you are feeling.
Miller Williams said: “Have compassion for everyone you meet, even when they don’t want it. What seems conceit, bad manners, or cynicism is always a sign of things no ears have heard, no eyes have seen. You do not know what wars are going on down there where the spirit meets the bone.”
How about showing yourself the same compassion, for you are trying and that’s the most this life can ask of you.