Self-esteem is a tricky concept define. Essentially, it is how we feel about ourselves. Our ability to value, respect and love ourselves goes a long way towards building our self-esteem and allowing us to cherish who we are as people.

Through my own personal journey and facing my own truths, I’ve come to realise that everything we do, think and feel comes down to self-esteem.


The more we learn about who we are, the more our self-esteem grows. It does not develop due to our talents, or what we own. It stems from our level of self-awareness.

We all have imperfections and things that we struggle to do well, but they should never serve to decrease our self-esteem. We are all perfectly imperfect and our worth is inherent.

Let’s take a closer look at 10 ways to build healthy self-esteem:



If you are always telling yourself that you cannot accomplish something or you have negative perceptions of yourself, this tends to become a self-fulfilling prophecy. When you empower yourself by taking control of your life and making your own decisions, you are able to achieve your goals and boost your self-confidence.



There are many who project a false sense of confidence and equate having a big ego with having healthy self-esteem. Believe me, I did that for many years. The people with the healthiest self-esteem know their strengths and weaknesses and have the appropriate level of confidence.



True confidence stems from knowing your own abilities and staying true to yourself. Those who have built self-esteem know when to be confident and when to seek assistance from others without feeling inadequate.


Self Respect/Respect For Others

When we lack respect for others, it often stems from a lack of respect for ourselves. When we learn to respect ourselves, this mentality permeates all of our actions going forward and increases our respect level for the world around us.


Effective Communication Skills

Low self esteem can hamper our communication skills and keep us from expressing our true desires. By developing effective communication skills, we are always able to speak about the topics that are important to us in an open forum and keep negative feelings from festering.


Ability To Laugh At Yourself

Having low self esteem often means taking yourself too seriously and not having the ability to laugh at yourself. Those who can shrug off mishaps and failures and find the humour in them are the ones who have healthy self-esteem.


Accountability and Responsibility

Taking accountability and accepting responsibility for your actions is another key aspect of developing healthy self-esteem. Being willing to step forward without blaming yourself or another, and accepting the role that you play in your own rights and wrongs is pivotal to self-esteem development.


Conflict Resolution

People with healthy self-esteem do not like to see conflicts escalate and will typically do everything in their power to defuse them. Healthy self-esteem is all about knowing when to stand up for your beliefs and when to meet the other party halfway.


Emotional Intelligence

There is a major difference between intelligence and emotional intelligence. Emotionally intelligent people have strong self-esteem, can read people and manage their own emotions effectively. They do not make decisions from a place of anger or frustration. Not every situation is meant to be a confrontation. Some situations are meant to test you, so when you are faced with a challenge, take a deep breath and walk away. Cool your head, calm down and return to the conversation or the problem at hand.


Defining Values

Knowing your own values and defining them is key when it comes to the development of self-esteem. This ensures that you are never placing yourself in a position that comprises any of your strongest held beliefs. Never lose sight of what matters to you, because if something is important to you, you don’t need to rely on what others think.

Building healthy self-esteem is not for the faint hearted. Your self-esteem will fluctuate on a daily basis because there will always be something or someone to test your level of esteem. It is always easier to look outside of yourself and point the finger of blame, but you must always look within. By taking a closer look within and getting to know yourself on a deeper level, you can avoid the perils that are associated with low self-esteem and become the very best version of yourself.


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Words by

Seila Chapman - Founder of We Are Relationship.

Transformation Coach & Self-Image Expert

I am passionate and serious in helping people create their best self, authentic, empowered, powerful and dynamic to achieve health, wealth and success and get more living and loving out of life!